Waiting for friends to arrive for dinner in Sydney.
I think the thing that might make you happiest this year is more of the right people in your life. At least, that’s what’s true for me. Here’s how I’m going to do it. How about you?
Who are your people in 2026?
If I’m doing one thing differently this year, it’s to focus on the people in my life.
One of the subtle corrosions of AI is that every time we go to The Machine for help, we’re not going to people. We’re lonely (aka I’m lonely) and yet we’re still doing things that disconnect us from one another.
So what if I reconnect more this year?
One study looked at 297 different activities and found people were happier doing 296 of them with someone else. Yeah, 99%! (The one exception was cleaning the kitchen … I don’t blame them.)I know I want more of the right people in my life (ideally, not to do chores with). Here are some of the experiments I’m running to find them.
A writing group with my friend R.
Next year is a BIG year of writing for me. There are projects associated with the 10 Year Special Edition of The Coaching Habit, projects connected to Change Signal, a cool assessment that’s half-built, SO MUCH GOOD STUFF!
My friend R and I are setting up a weekly check-in, a way to keep up the momentum, fend off the despair, and cheer each other on.
More group walking
Two years ago, I did a six-day walk in Tasmania that remains a highlight of the decade. Ten of us walking the gorgeous landscape around Cradle Mountain.
Last year, my friend Jason Fox and I led a full-day walk near Melbourne. It was a group of ten or so, most of whom knew fewer than three others. We started with dinner the night before, walked the next day, and finished with a final dinner.
It was delightful. I’m going to do some version of that again at least twice, once in Australia with Jason and once in Toronto with my friend S.
Participate wholeheartedly in my WhatsApp groups
I read somewhere that someone found friendships by being a source of energy and encouragement in the various WhatsApp groups she found herself in.
It didn’t always work, and that was fine. But the ones where it did turned into something special.
She started by giving the groups funky names. I’ve just joined one started by my friend M called Thinking Tank.
There are seven of us, five of whom I already know and two of whom I don’t. I’m going to give that group my best shot of being awesome, deepening some current friendships and creating some new ones.
Be a host-less host
Over the years I’ve hosted small dinners (me plus two others, me plus four others) where we’ve eschewed the small talk and got into interesting stuff, and I’ve hosted a few two-hour cocktail parties (*ht* Nick Gray’s terrific book).
I realize I need to find formats where I’m less the host and facilitator (and therefore somewhat on the outside of the experience) and I’m more a participant who’s also happened to invite people. I’m not sure what that looks like just yet, but I’m going to experiment and see.
Say hello to my neighbours
I don’t really know who my neighbours are. We’ve had a few new households move in over the last three months, and I haven’t done a great job welcoming them.
I did drop off holiday cards to the twelve houses surrounding mine in Toronto, so that’s a start. But I’m going to find a way to know them better. Do people still deliver lasagnas and pies to their new neighbours?
Call my Dunbar 15 people monthly
Dunbar’s Number is 150, the number of friendships British academic Robin Dunbar thinks we can maintain.
Within that 150, there are different levels of connection: trust, love, intimacy, etc.
I know who my 15 people are. I’m going to talk to each of them every month. Not a message or voicemail or text. But pick up the phone and call them.
Host a webinar for you
I’m sneaking this in … on January 22nd, I’m hosting a webinar to launch and celebrate The Year of The Coaching Habit, our year-long celebration of TCH’s fabulous first decade.
I’ve got some helpful things to share and teach with you, and I’d be thrilled if we had a chance to connect there.
There are more details below, but if you’re already sold on the idea, sign up here.
